Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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