there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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