Soap is not a condiment
Someone shit on the floor
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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