I want to have your abortion
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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