The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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