in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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