Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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