I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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