so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
