but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
is it fun? or sober?
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