Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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