Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
