I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
