Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
