just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Green mimosas i think yes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
