Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
