You made me cry and you don't even care
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
