Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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