why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
