Too much gin, very little bucket
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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