Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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