You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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