Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
