Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
