Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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