batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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