I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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