My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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