I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
