I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
