Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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