summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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