I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
