I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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