Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
