Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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