I am puke
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize