It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
