So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
