Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
