Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
