im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
