Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I want to have your abortion
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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