I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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