I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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