I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
