but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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