I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
