Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
