I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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