If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
