I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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