Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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