Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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