Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
