you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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