So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
